Missing out.

December 9, 2009 at 10:39 pm 12 comments

Today, I really feel like I’m missing out, and not just me, I feel like M is missing out too.

Work pisses me off.

Because they threatened to fire me, I’m now literally tied to my desk, I am there BEFORE 9am every single day and leave after 5pm every single day. Often later.

And because they threatened to fire me, and because we are infertile and therefore need every single cent we can earn, I can’t risk getting fired.

So what does that all look like?

It looks like me, missing the first OB appointment.

And I’m really upset about it, M had to go by herself, which annoys me because she shouldn’t have to be at the OB alone with our babies!

So, today, I’m pissed at my work, that I got to miss out on yet another part of becoming a mother.

i have no idea how I am possibly going to wait 10 more sleeps before seeing the babies (or M!).


For those who like the details the apt was pretty standard, the chances of downs are significantly low, so we are v. happy with that (M got a copy of all the reports so we can see!). She got the req for the next scan and our next apt is on January 6th at 430pm, so hopefully  we can go next time!


Entry filed under: Second Trimester. Tags: , , .

Mr Breast Pumps big american adventure. Please send good thoughts.

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jamie  |  December 9, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    I am pissed at your work as well. You have worked so hard at becoming a mother, at the VERY least you deserve to be there for each and every moment.

  • 2. g  |  December 10, 2009 at 12:53 am

    That suck, or it blows. Perhaps both.

    But I am very glad the appointment itself was good news.


  • 3. Cyn  |  December 10, 2009 at 1:01 am

    Ugh! So sorry-I totally meant to post about the first appointment and what to expect and I forgot (basically it’s a glorified pap smear with some extra talking).

    I know you are disappointed that you couldn’t be there, but honestly from my surro perspective, there are SO many bigger days to be there for. At the first ob appt you can’t even hear the heartbeat usually. My doc never even tried for several appt’s.

    My IP’s only made it for transfer, 20 week ultrasound and delivery for both sets of twins. The good news is that they still love and cherish their children and in the end, that is all that really mattered.

    But I am bummed that you are bummed.

  • 4. Sarah @ whentwobecomesthree  |  December 10, 2009 at 6:59 am

    I agree with Cyn that in the BIG picture – not being there for the appointments isn’t going to change anything regarding your love, your feelings, your babies feelings or your role.

    Try not to focus to much on the negative right now. It is what it is. Look at the positive cause right now lady – you have a LOT of it. You have an awesome GC that seems to be doing her best to help you be as close as possible while understanding your situation. And you have TWO babies growing strong and healthy. They are going to keep you so busy you aren’t even going to remember all of this wait.

    No dwelling.

    P;S. Are you going to find out gender? When can I place my guess??????

  • 5. My Reality  |  December 10, 2009 at 11:05 am

    I had a war with my employer about fertility treatment, they said I couldn’t take time off for it – or be late for monitoring etc. Pregnancy is protected under the human rights act, as is fertility treatment. I wonder if surrogacy would also be covered. It might be something to look into.

  • 6. sara  |  December 10, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    What is their reasoning for threatning to fire you? That’s bullsh*t if it has to do with the pregnancy (your baby). I am so very sorry for your missing the appointment. I can absolutely understand how devestating that must be to miss your first OB appointment. We miss enough, it’s not fair. I’m sorry.

  • 7. MEG.  |  December 10, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    I’m going to jump on the Sarah Positive Bandwagon and agree to focus on the good things in life: Your infection is gone! You have TWO healthy babies on the way! You have a super awesome GS!

    But…….I still really hate your boss. =) Like, a lot.

  • 8. JellyBelly  |  December 10, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Okay, where exactly do you work?

    I’m kicking your boss in the shins.


  • 9. Elizabeth  |  December 12, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Ugh, I am pissed at your work on your behalf. I’m sorry you had to miss the first appointment. Hopefully it will be the only one you have to miss.

  • 10. jaymee  |  December 13, 2009 at 2:06 am

    well that just plain old sucks!! so sorry that you feel like you are missing out on even more than you should. the thing that really sucks for us, while we could never imagine anyone but sabrina being our surrogate, is that she live so very far away. i hate knowing that we are going to miss all the appointments (except for the 20 week u/s.) i hope that things work out better for you.

  • 11. Amanda  |  December 13, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    I’m sorry you had to miss the appt, but if there is ever an appt to miss, it’s the first one, maybe even two honestly. You don’t get to hear the heartbeat (it’s rare anyway) and well, it’s pretty boring and dry. It sucks you missed it, but M seems to be doing a fantastic job handling everything and well, it won’t make a difference in the end when you have those babes in your arms.

    Hang in there, its not long and will go fast, maybe not in the moment but once it’s all done and your babes are teens you’ll wonder where these months went.

  • 12. Karma  |  December 15, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    Maybe I’m missing something, but can they really threaten to fire you for attending OB appts for your twins? I’m certain if you were the one carrying all you would need would be a tidy letter from a labour lawyer…but because you aren’t actually carrying the babies, and therefore don’t NEED to be at the appts., maybe that’s the loophole? Have you talked to a labour lawyer?
    If not, you definitely should. That sucks. My work was amazing and completely supportive, for which I was grateful. My old boss even gave both my sis and I spa gift certificates for after the baby was born! I know, that probably makes it worse : ) Sorry!


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