First Christmas

December 23, 2009 at 3:03 pm 9 comments

17 Weeks 2 days

This is the first Christmas in 5 years where I do not feel, to one degree or another, a certain kind of sadness.

I feel the joy that I felt before infertility came over me like a cloud of darkness .

I see kids with joy on their faces and I feel joy too.

I remember the darkness, and I feel such an incredible gratitude, what a surrogate does for us intended parents can not be put into words, imagine being able to heal a giant wound, being able to make someone else’s dreams come true, it truly is an amazing gift and one that I am so very grateful for this Christmas.



Entry filed under: Second Trimester, Surrogacy. Tags: , , .

Why is pink for girls and blue for boys… Telling.

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. My Reality  |  December 23, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    It is nice to have that feeling back, isn’t it?

    Next year will be even better!

  • 2. Eva  |  December 23, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    I’m glad you made it to the other side. I hope to make it there one day. Have a great Christmas.

  • 3. Sarah  |  December 23, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    So happy that you are back Duck! Merry Christmas to you and Mr. Duck!

  • 4. Jamie  |  December 23, 2009 at 9:42 pm

    I am so happy to read this! Keep basting in all the good feelings – you have earned it!!

  • 5. chicklet  |  December 25, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    So happy for you that it’s finally turning:-)

  • 6. FET Accompli  |  December 26, 2009 at 1:06 am

    Have a merry, merry christmas!!!

  • 7. Natasha Marchand  |  December 26, 2009 at 1:27 am

    Yeahhhh for a Christmas free of sadness!!! so happy for you, it must be the best feeling in the world. This is only my second christmas as a TTCer……..its not the best, thats for sure, but one day I will feel a little less sad!
    Just think of how awesome next year will be? you can get the little ornaments that say babies first christmas!!!

  • 8. Sara  |  December 26, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Really? I’m so glad to hear this! I wondered this Christmas, as I wiped the tears away before each visit we began, if this would be the last year I would feel sad. Will I be sad next year because I’ll be away from my baby (he’ll still be in M’s belly)??? I hope I can feel the joy again.

  • 9. Amanda  |  December 28, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Just wait till next year, it will be even more amazing when your waking up to babies and Santa Clause will have come to visit your tree.

    I’m glad your feeling cheerful, Christmas is about many things, but children do make a difference. Almost half way there, so exciting!


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