20 weeks 4 days
I must admit I seem to be rotating between terrified fear that something will happen with our precious babies, and the comfort of knowing that they are with M.
It goes like this:
Oh my god it took 5 years (and so much money we refuse to talk or think about it) to get here, we’re so very close, we’re over half way, we want the babies to live so badly. They have names and personalities and we love them so very much, even if they don’t yet weight a pound, and I start to panic thinking about them.
BUT then I usually remind myself they’re with M, and if anyone in the world can take care of these babies I know that she can do it, and then I can breath again.
I know, I shouldn’t worry, I should concentrate on the positive (and I try, I do remind myself frequently of the good things, to keep picturing healthy happy babies) but it’s not easy.
Hopefully M will see the specialist soon (we STILL don’t have an appointment) or her OB will see her again and have another ultra sound scan, anything to give us some comfort that all will be well.
(And I’ve been at work since 630 am which is making me one tired and emotional duck).