Telling Part 3b

February 7, 2010 at 12:54 pm 6 comments

23 weeks 6 days

I have more details from the In Laws great reveal, but, as everything is 3rd hand I may not make this post as eloquent as it should be…

The In-Laws took the news exactly how I thought they would (excellently). You see my in-laws are respectful people, who, understand that us revealing our good news is something we need to do on our own time.

They even asked “Who can we tell and what can we say“. Amazing and the exact opposite of my mother’s reaction which will be (oh my god wait till I tell everyone including strangers I meet in an elevator).

Mr. Duck told the in-laws that, all we know are two things.

Firstly, we do not want to be the subject of gossip (and what great gossip it makes –  a story of infertility, hospitalization and surrogacy!).

Secondly, we are proud of how our children are being brought into this world, we are proud that we are brave enough and strong enough not to just stop at barriers such as a useless uterus, and we are proud and protective of M (she has a life and a family and is doing this amazing thing for us – it’s hard to write all the feelings that you have towards the women who is carrying your child/children – but I will sum it up by saying we are extremely protective of her).

The in-laws agreed with both statements and agreed that they would hold onto the great news (but they will tell Mr. Duck’s brother).  In terms of Mr. Duck’s extended family – many of them I would love for them to know about this (particularly his one aunt who constantly moans that she will never have grand children because her children “don’t want to have kids” but I am positive are infertile).

Apparently my mother in law keeps saying “twins, how wonderful”, or “two – you both always have one to hold”.

They are extremely excited and it feels so very good to know that they know.

Next up will be my sister (sometime in the next few weeks maybe).

I’m still undecided about the timing of telling my parents (I would have told my father months ago if he did not live with my mother)  – of course they will know at some point, but, when?


Entry filed under: Second Trimester. Tags: , .

Telling Part 3a. Excited!

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. JellyBelly  |  February 7, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    Hmmm, I’m stumped. If your mom is kinda crazy (as mine is) I would wait until the third trimester. You want to keep her craziness at bay for as long as possible. Is there any way that you can tell your dad and he not tell your mom?

  • 2. Sarah @ whentwobecomesthree  |  February 7, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    Sounds like it went really well! Just wait until the shock wears off. Mr. Duck’s parents are going to be so hyper!

    Looking forward to hearing about you telling your sis. You will tell mumsy when it feels right.

  • 3. Bridget  |  February 7, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    I totally understand your not wanting to tell family when the reaction may not be exactly what you’d hope for. I sat my family down (2 sisters) and let them know what was going in when we decided to go with surrogacy and said either you support me or not but I do not want to hear 1 negative comment ever. When we do have child(ren) I would love for you to be able to be a part of our life. 🙂 It was a scary thought though and my parents have passed away, so I felt like I really needed them to understand and be supportive of our choice.

    I am so excited for you and Mr Duck! Babies are just around the corner!

  • 4. Denise  |  February 7, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    I’m so glad they reacted in a positive way! Things with your mom sound very complicated. But at least for now, you can relax knowing that your in-laws get it.

  • 5. susy  |  February 8, 2010 at 11:46 am

    I agree w/ Denise, that at least having the IL’s know and be supportive is relieving. Talking to mom is tough. I’d wait until 3rd tri as well. Some freak and feel “there’s no time to plan” when you break the news late, but you’re doing so awesome w/ the planning that you can assure your mom, things are being taken care of – and that alone lifts some of the stress. Those fuzzbuns are so cute!!!

  • 6. Bec  |  February 8, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    Woohoo for telling the in-laws! No advice for telling your parents though…


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