26 weeks 1 day
I had my very first conversation with my in-laws since they got our fabulous news. We chatted via skype so that our phone line was free in case M called.
The in-laws are so very incredibly absolutely excited. They want to tell the universe and we have given them permission to tell their respective families that we are expecting twins.
Apparently Mr. Duck’s Grandmother asked if twins “ran in my family” (I do have 2 cousins who are twins). My MIL not missing a beat said that my Grandmother was a twin. A total out and out lie (this is why I love her – she gets that people are curious and you just give them what they want – no need to explain the complexity of an embryo transfer to a 90 year old woman).
But then, my MIL asked me a question.
“So how are the twins?”.
And for some reason I felt like crying and screaming all that same time.
My response “I don’t know they are – how would I know how they are?”
All of a sudden I felt a pain that indeed I have not yet felt.
It’s not like I can reach down and feel them kick and know that everything is alright.
I was in Cuba for a week, isolated away from phones, internet, with no contact at all with M, so when our in-laws asked “how are the twins”. I had absolutely nothing at all that I could say and it sorta hit me hard.
Like a giant rock between the eyes.
I have no idea how the babies are, and that is the nature of surrogacy.
Today, I must admit, I am really getting anxious for the weeks to pass and for the babies to be out into the world, where I can simply look down at them and know exactly how they are.
Is this normal? Do other intended mothers feel like this?
(note – this does not mean that I want them to arrive early – we’re still aiming for 36 weeks which is only 10 weeks away – but I am getting anxious to be able to see them face to face).