Birth plan?

April 4, 2010 at 9:05 am 5 comments

31 weeks 6 days

M has suggested that we come up with a birth plan (which is a fantastic idea).

I’ve been reading of birth plans on-line and of course they are all centred around giving birth to you own child, not so many that focus on surrogacy births, and a lot of it, well is just not relevant to surrogacy. All the decisions regarding the lighting/music/atmosphere/pain meds etc are things that M should really decide (after all she will be the one doing all the hard work on the big day).

As I am not really sure what elements are things that Mr. Duck and I need to consider I decided that I should turn to my dear internet friends for some advice, any suggestions on the elements that we should consider?

This is what I have so far:

1. Our preferences surrounding if we are in the operating room during delivery (both c-section and natural – just in case).

2. Cord cutting, yea or nea.

3. Holding of babes (if they are healthy) – who gets to hold who first.

That’s it, that’s all I got.

There are other elements that I have for post birth stuff, which were partly suggested by the hospital. They said that after the babies are born as long as they are healthy we (mr. duck/babes/me) can go to a private room where the babes can spend some time lying on my stomach – which is the natural trigger for breastfeeding – apparently babies want to try and feed within the 1st hour after they are born and this is when they are “primed for learning how to bf”.  Then the babies will room in with Mr Duck and I until they are ready to be discharged.

Anyone have any ideas for other items to be included in  a birth plan?

Anything you LOVED about the birth of your baby/ies or anything you hated?

You don’t have to leave a comment – you can always email me at


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The nest 3-2

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Karma  |  April 4, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    The moment *A* was born we did the skin to skin while hubby cut the cord. They checked her and weighed her, and then I breastfed immediately. It was amazing – she latched on right away and went to town. It became a LOT more difficult after that first feed (a LOT), but that was an amazing moment for me. We also waited for the eye drops and vitamin K shot (I think that’s what they do) until we’d spent that first hour with her. We took turns holding her, and my sis had some time to hold her as well. Then we roomed with my sis and her hubby, which was actually really nice for us because I loved having an experienced mom in the room with me : )
    We also had the DNA kit ready to go and the OB collected the cord blood right after the birth.
    The big things for us were the immediate skin to skin for the BF and bonding, and the cutting of the cord (and waiting for all the eye drop stuff – it isn’t immediately necessary). It was a great experience all around.
    As for the birth plan, we had all those things in our letter to the hospital, and my sis had her own requests (like no epidural!)
    Good luck – just figure out what’s really important and go from there.

  • 2. Emily  |  April 4, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    We didn’t really have a plan per se, just a list of things we hoped for. That said some of it changed – J originally didn’t want to cut the cord but changed his mind after the birth and did it.

    I would say for SURE you want skin to skin with those babies as soon as you can. They put little miss on my stomach and she immediately headed for my boobs and latched on. Also make sure the nurses show you how to bath, swaddle, clean the babies – it sounds obvious but your head will be swimming so you’ll want to be shown at least once!

  • 3. Sarah  |  April 5, 2010 at 10:39 am

    You are getting closer and closer. It’s tricky with a surrogacy pregnancy cause there are so many other factors involved. So I didn’t really have a plan per se – I just wanted be there when she was born. The most important thing to me was that my baby and my Carrier were ok – all of the bonding stuff came after that. So if you don’t have the skin to skin – it is not the end of the world but if you can hold your babies when they are born – that’s quite the moment. I am sure that your GS will want to see that as it’s what all her hard work is about. This is such a nervous time for you in the last leg of your wait – just try to stay calm – lol! Add that to your plan!!!!

  • 4. Sunny  |  April 5, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Despite the fact that my birth was absolutely horrible, I don’t have many good suggestions for you. Regarding the cord, one of the things I looked into for this pregnancy was delayed cord clamping. You might want to google it.

    It sounds like you’ve given it some great thought. I hope it goes smoothly and dreamily for you!

  • 5. Natasha Marchand  |  April 6, 2010 at 11:34 am

    I write birth plans for a living, please feel free to write me offline and I can work on one with you. As far as what you have written now, that seems pretty good, you may want to make sure your surrogate talks to their care giver, cause quite often there is only to be one person in the operating room.
    If you would like to cord blood bank, delaying the cord clamping is not really an option, but if you are not cord blood banking, delaying the cord clamping is a wonderful way for baby to get used to breathing, while still getting oxygen from the placenta. Skin to Skin with the mother is extremely important, so if all possible it should be you holding the baby first, baby will lick around and root and build immunity by being on your skin, latching will probably happen soon after. This is possible in both a vaginal delivery and surgical, as long as your in the room. I know your pumping and working hard on breast-feeding, the immediate skin to skin contact (and as much as possible in the days/weeks afterwards) will give you a HUGE advantage.

    There may be some other things you want to look into, such as delaying the eye drops and Vit. K shot until bonding is established, they should allow you at least an hour of bonding, breastfeeding time before doing any new born procedures. The eye ointment can blur their vision and make bonding more difficult.

    And yes…..please meditate with me as you pump!!!!


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