Posts filed under ‘First Trimester’
One teeny tiny centimetre at a time.
Last night I spoke with my friend R, who was my very first in-real-life-friend of mine to ever have a baby (we both worked together at the Mother Ship both close friends, both infertile diagnosed in our teens and both of us saying that we “wanted to concentrate on our careers before having children” – only later after she became pregnant did we discover we had so much in common). R happily got pregnant in one of those miracle in-between infertility treatments cycles, and her little girl is now 16 months old. She also has the very first baby that I ever held (and she liked me! The baby that is).
I called R last night as I desperately wanted to tell her our good news (R who knew all about our journeys thus far) was THRILLED to hear all about the twins and our new fabulous GS M (I know I’ve said this before but I will say it again we are so very very lucky to have found her! – more on that below). R who is a cloth diaper advocate talked me through the ins and outs of cloth diapering and I ordered my very very first cloth diaper.
But, I am not the only one crawling out of the closet. Mr. Duck is doing his share of partial outings.
The list so far of those who know that we are expecting is as follows:
2 infertile guys at Mr. Duck’s work who knew of the IVF and the success (not the twin part yet)
Mr. Ducks boss (he told him today that we are expecting in June and that Mr. Duck will be taking a few weeks off).
My boss and friend (and his v. cool girl friend) and all the doctors that i work for (like 20 plus docs).
My two best Friends S (who’s infertile too) and J (who is by far THE most understanding amazing chick in the world – she TOTALLY gets being infertile without being infertile and always listens to me when I have a mental crisis moment).
A note about “Matching”
And maybe this should be an entire post, hell an entire book, but, something should be said about the importance of matching. Our very first match was a lot like my very first boyfriend, we were both so incredibly in awe that someone was willing to help us make our dreams that we so desperately wanted to come true (or in the case of my first long-term relationship – it lasted 9 months – it was that “oh my god he said he loved me thing”) that we could not see all the LARGE FLASHING warning signs that this would not be a good match(just as I did not see the HUGE flashing signs that my boyfriend was cheating on me – but I was 16 – young and naive).
After a bad match, you know what you don’t want, kinda a lot like a bad boyfriend, you know what you just can’t live wit, you may not be able to put it into words that make sense, but you know in your heart what is right and what isn’t.
Which brings me to M. When I first starting communicating with M, I was totally overwhelmed, she’s smart, she’s funny, she writes like me…When we talked on the phone for the first time I was so very excited, she’s the same on the phone as she is in writing (but greater!). THEN came the big meet.
AND it was great.
I let Mr. Duck do all the talking, I knew how wonderful M was, I knew I desperately wanted to move ahead with her, but, I also knew that Mr was a little burned over our last experience.
I knew that he had to make his own conclusions, I knew that if they simply chatted he would feel the same way I did.
And so they talked, and talked and talked some more. And Mr asked so many questions.
And towards the end of the conversation he must have said about 10 times, “M you really are a breath of fresh air”.
Ah, and that she is. She got it. The surrogacy and more.
She just really got it, and she was like us, up front, honest, straight forwarded, not introverted, but not a person who needed to be constantly in the spotlight, someone who enjoyed spending time with her family, someone well, someone very much like us.
And numerous times since then Mr and i have both said with joy “thank god for M, we truly are lucky” seriously, I’m not just saying it – these are the conversations that we have as we sit on our coach between watching Coronation Street and the News.
And so, for those of you who have not matched with your surrogates I would say this, it’s a lot like dating, speak to lots of women, don’t just run off with the very first person that you speak with(this is advice that i too received and admittedly did not take to heart), really get to know them, talk about the good issues and the hard issues too, because when you have a great match, it makes all the difference in the world.
I got to see my gyne today, and he is so wonderful. As I said before, he opened his clinic early to see me (how sweet!).
After a few questions about how I am feeling he asks about the babies, and I tell them that they are doing great.
Then comes the wanding with the dildo cam.
On the left, blank abyss of nothingness (and some fluid). Great relief, I did not spontaneously grow an ovary.
On the right, and inflamed sorta pissed off looking ovary. He took a few pictures (the after beauty shots) to have a baseline of what things “should look like” imagine that.
What was cool about it all was there was a complete and total lack of cysts.
No cysts, No weird growths and NO abscess. Which means no infection.
So what of the fluid around my lungs?
My Gyne thinks its most likely just inflammation left over from the surgery, I pushed myself so hard to go back to work that it is going to take longer for me to fully heal.
But did you read that NO INFECTION!
He said “finish off the antibiotics, call us if you get a fever, but, otherwise, be sure to keep in touch about those babies, I want pictures.”
I skipped out of his office and to my car. I was so happy I thought I would cry.
And I was done by 8:45 and my ass was in my cubicle by 9:30. With today being an extra long day, I will actually be plus time today, not negative. Ha!
In baby gear news, after much argument and frustration I have FINALLY heard back from the seller of the diaper bag. No my order has not been eaten by the Amazon order monster. Apparently the bags are hand made by order, so it takes 10 days for them to be made (hello – maybe you should tell people this so that the ship date is later?). According to Amazon I should expect my bag today, but, it’s not even finished being made! So the wait continues… In pumping news, I have been trying to pay the seller of the pumper now for what feels like forever, but, finally I hope it is resolved and in the mail today.
To satisfy our curiosity and desire to finally get my hands on some cloth diapers I ordered 1, yes, just 1 on-line, because I can’t seem to find them in person in this teeny tiny city.
I have a Brown Bear that is about the size of a baby and we will be practicing on him (please stop laughing, I’m serious).
I had a chest CT today that showed that I have fluid pushing up on my right lung, most likely from an infection in the pelvic area.
I am not real talkative today as I am pretty disappointed that this infection is back,and I plan on begging the gyne to put me on super-duper strong antibiotics for 45 days to kill this thing, or at least to try that. It is clear that it responds to antibiotics, but, the problem lies in the fact that 10 days is just not enough to kill the buggers. Please pray that he agrees as otherwise it means bye-bye my last ovary, and really, I am just not ready to say good-bye.
Boob Growing News
The good news of today is I found a NEW PJ Limerick pump on sale for a great deal on Ebay (I check everyday for this pump as I can not afford the new pump). Well to my delight I found this new PJ Limerick Pump on sale for a great price. Unlike most personal pumps, this pump CAN be reused by other mothers so when I am done with the pump in a year I can sell it! Which makes me very very happy.
I am super excited to get this one in the mail! If you want to read about the pump – here is the website. From what I read this should give me the best of both worlds, and I should not have to rent a hospital grade pump :). So excited to get pumping! Only 16 more weeks till I start!
According to the IVF.ca calculator the babies estimated due date is 31 May 2009 (you enter your egg retrieval date aka ovulation and out pops the due date). According to our Infertility Clinic the estimated due date is 3 June 2009.
This is just the beginning of baby tracking confusion.
According to IVF.ca there are 3 potential dates as the first day of the second trimester. November 15 (development), November 25 (Gestation) and December 4 (Conception), it’s odd, people have been having babies now for thousands of years, you would figure it would be all cut and dry, but really it’s not.
Then you throw in the twin factor, twins seem to want to come in the world a little before singletons. Lenore, of Ask Lenore, told me to start pumping at 30 weeks, as twins usually come at 36 weeks and this will give you 6 weeks of pumping (but of course, sometimes they come earlier). According to the IVF. ca calculator the most likely date for twin babies to be born is 9 May 2009, as in Mothers Day (at least in North America). I like this idea, but, hope for M’s sake that they decide to come a little later, I imagine she would prefer to spend mothers day surrounded by her own family then bringing mine screaming into the world.
So here we are mostly in the second trimester, but, maybe a little in the first (at least until next Friday). The big countdown in our house is on for my Christmas treat, a 3D ultra sound date with M and the babies! I have not seen the peanuts since they were only 9 weeks old (which is over a month and feels like a lifetime ago!). So for my Christmas gift we have booked a 3d date for Saturday 19 December! We can go see the babies, and then go to lunch with M, it’s going to be so much fun!!
The babies will be 16 weeks 5days old and according to the ultra sound clinic we should be able to determine if the Peanuts are going to be little girls or little boys. I’m excited and in a weird way nervous to find out who is in there, nervous because we have lots of names in mind for one gender and ZERO in mind for the other (and zero that I can think of that I like that has not been recently used by friends).
My IVF infection update
It seems like the IVF infection may STILL be in my body, I had a chest X ray last night that showed fluid on the right side around my diaphragm, which he suspects maybe the infection. The doctors have all been awesome trying to accommodate me and my crazy work. I have a Chest CT scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8am (and have warned work that I will be late coming in tomorrow – and I’m staying late tonight to compensate). I also warned that I will probably be late on Tuesday too, I called my gyne guy to keep him abreast and he wants me to come in next Tuesday (his clinic usually starts at 9am, but, he’s going to see me at 830am in an attempt to keep me from being fired). Have I mentioned how horrified every doctor is when I tell them of my-come-to-work-or-get-fired scenario? Then when I say I work for a doctor their jaw drops and they seem to get even more upset (it will be interesting when I see my gyne who personally knows my you-goanna-get-your-ass-fired doctor boss).
Anyhow, it maybe a persistent infection, I’m praying that it is something else, anything else really, and that if it is an infection they can drain it via ultra sound or CT like an egg retrieval rather then surgery, anything but surgery (if they do cut me open they will give me a hysterectomy and I will instantly become a 50 year old woman).
Please pray for me, I don’t want to loose all my lady bits.
12 weeks 5days
Today, my husband and I experienced some firsts.
We went looking at baby stuff. Armed with our Starbucks coffee we roamed the city going from baby store to baby store looking at cribs, bedding, slings and strollers.
The highlight for me was PotteryBarnKids where the staff were EXCELLENT. No strange looks or examination for lack of belly bump. My husband and I saw a crib on sale on-line that we really liked (simple off white crib at a v.v. reduced price). Of course, that is in the states, in Canada the crib is not on sale. But they gave us a catalog, explained when things go on sale (towards the end of the year/beginning of the new year, before the new stock comes in February). They even recommended creating a registry as you can get 10% off. They were nice, and for the very first time ever I was treated like an expectant Mom and it felt great.
Another highlight was sears. Mr. Duck and I wondered in and saw the stroller that we are considering:
Wanting to collapse the stroller we figured out how to remove the seat and got stuck there. For the life of us we could not figure out how to move on. We pulled at the strollers bits, pressed down buttons, but, nothing.
Along came a helpful sales lady who pressed a few buttons and quickly squished it down, and I then figured out the lock. To our delight it squashes quite small, small enough to fit it all in the trunk of a civic. The sales lady said “twins?”. And we smiled and said “yeah we’re having twins”. There were oohhs and ahhs from the two sales ladies, we thanked them for our help and skipped away.
The only not so satisfying experience was babiesrus, which seemed to be filled to the brim with pushy pregnant women. Normally I cut people a lot of slack (who knows what exactly is happening in their lives). However, today, I was a wee bit annoyed. I was standing at the back of the store, in a tight corner examining crib bedding, I was reaching out to pick up a package when a pregnant couple moved in front of me and stopped and totally took up the entire space in front of the bedding I was looking at, not like they were close but, directly in front of me, I could have reached out and licked the back of their necks.
They stayed, I stayed.
Waiting and waiting, while the woman winged that the wall apliques were too dark (okay so get the hell out of the way so I can look) and whinges about where is the sales lady I need to get the wall art, blah blah blah. Eventual I had to walk away and just not get to look at the bedding, it was either that or yell at some stranger, and I just didn’t see the point.
Babies R us seemed to be teeming with annoying pushy couples as many with bump people kept pushing in front of me to see stuff, I was examining a twin stroller when they walked right up and grabbed the stroller to take it for a run, it got to the point where I just had to leave, because they were putting a serious damper on my otherwise happy experience. The one good part of babies R Us is I got to try on a few hot slings, which have specific sizes ranging from 1 to 9. The smallest size they had at babiesrus was a 3, which sorta fit, but, may still be too big. Still trying on babies slings was seriously seriously exciting. Can’t wait till I get to by my very first nursing bra!
Speaking of nursing bras, Monday of this week I started the lactation induction protocol (ortho 1/35 birth control pill continuously and domperidone) – today I saw Dr. Newman’s book at Chapters so tonight I will be doing the on line search to find it used!
12 weeks 3 days
As an intended mother it can be very difficult for you to feel like your expecting.
For many first time mothers, it is hard to really believe that you will have a baby 9 months after getting that positive test. I’ve read many a blog post from women who are 20 weeks pregnant and still paddling down that river called de-nial.
As an Intended Mother not only are we paddling down the river, to be frank we may just take up residence there. After all, I’m not puking, or having little uterus pulling, I’m not gaining weight or watching what I eat.
Quite the opposite, now that I no longer am in must-preserve-eggs-for-ivf mode I drink real coffee whenever I want it. Whenever I recover from my most recent surgery (I had a laparascopic surgery to remove endometriosis and they took my left ovary) I can even have wine.
Today I did something to make this whole expecting thing a little bit real. I made my very first purchase. A diaper bag
I’m picky about diaper bags and wanted something funky, cool, functional and did NOT look like a diaper bag, when I saw this finally on line (I’ve been searching for a few days) and ON SALE I had to buy it.
Now while buying a diaper bag may help to solidify this pregnancy, what helps even more is M our GS. She’s very helpful in trying her very best to make it real for me. She kindly shares her time with me where I can chat with her on the phone and pick her brain about babies (where do they sleep when they first come out?) and pregnancy symptoms – I really do want to know about puking and little uterus twinges, all the details… It’s amazing, not only is she safely taking care of her babies, she’s even willing to help me along as I figure out how to become a mom (and doesn’t even laugh at my very ridiculous questions).
Today was one of those BIG sharing days. Today we had the Nuchal scan, and while I sat in my cubicle at work writing(I can no longer attend appointments because my boss is a so-you’re-expecting-we-may-just-fire-you -any-minute-because-you-are-no-longer-of-use-ARSE – AND he’s a bloody doctor), M and Mr.Duck were getting to peek at our little peanuts. After some ultra sound appointment confusion M went in for her appointment and Mr. Duck waited for 15 minutes in the waiting room while they did all the measurements. Of course Mr. Duck being the jumpy kinda guy he is walked in to the room and demanded to know if something was wrong(yup – we’re infertile – we worry for no reason). The ultra sound tech replied that everything looked great and proceed to show Mr. the peanuts. He got to see their little faces (there was noses so good signs that all is okay), and baby B was kicking up a little storm.
Age – Mr. Forgot to ask what age they were measuring at but did remember to ask if they were measuring closely, apparently one baby is measuring one day ahead of the other.
Size – 7.83 cm! Big little peanuts
Heart rates – 160 and 166