I was warned about not jumping into a match.
My dear from Sarah tried in her very kind way to help guide me from jumping into a relationship with the very first surrogate that came along (who was not totally ruled out by basic criteria like having carried a child before, and not being stalk raving mad).
But, here is the truth.
By the time that an infertile couple lands on the island of surrogacy they have usually floated in the sea of despair for years.
Countless failed cycles from some, years of miscarriages for others.
The trip to surrogacy island is not a luxury liner.
It’s a little more like your fishing boat caught on fire 200 kilometres off the coast so you ended up in a tiny rubber dingy bobbing in the atlantic.
But once you arrive to the island, it can be okay, it all depends on who the inhabitants are. Stay with me.
If you were trapped on a desert island, who would you want with you?
What kind of personality would they have, would they be someone who is hunting in the woods, finding new fruits, seeking sources or water? Or would they be someone who lies in a pile and does the “oh woe is me” I need someone to rescue me.
Perhaps, you the IM is the kind that likes to wallow in sorrow?
A good match, if you can at all get it, would be with someone who is indeed like-minded, or close to it. This will make communications and the journey so much smoother.
If you are an extrovert who likes to “hang it all out there” you are going to want to blog, with pictures and first and last names and you social security number.
Others just love love drama, they always have to have a crisis in their lives ( I would recommend seeking a good councillor for this issue, and perhaps resolving it before you get involved with someone elses life – no GS or IP wants to have someone who is constantly looking for problems and mixing up drama).
Or maybe those that are drama queens love it – if this is the case find yourself another drama queen to hang with – you will have a fun journey of dramatic stuff that your into.
If you appreciate a bit of privacy, you maybe like me, a little blog, under an anonymous name, tucked safely away on the internet.
If you are a laid back person, don’t match yourself with a type A, they will make you want to strangle them as they will need to obsess over every little detail.
After just reading all this, it really does seem rather obvious, doesn’t it?
To sum it all up, the quickest litmus test for me, is this, can I be trapped on an island with this woman for a year?
Will we want to kill each other, or will we carve out letters from bits of bark so we can play Scrabble?
Use this test in your match, and the answer of what you should do will quickly come to you.